Social Health

People who have strong social ties (family, friends, community, and work relationships) tend to handle stress better. They also tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer. How healthy is your social life? If your social health is ailing, you can take steps to mend it. Read on to find out how.

Family Ties

Families are groups of people who are connected by blood, marriage, or choice. Families can provide tremendous emotional support, especially in times of crisis. They also can provide a strong foundation of love and acceptance that can fortify you as you handle everyday stressors.

Because they are always changing, growing, and evolving, all families experience stress at one time or another. Big shifts in family dynamics such as a death, divorce, or relocation can rock the foundation of a family. Even everyday stressors can pile up: who left the iron on, who forgot to put the now-moldy clothes in the dryer, how are we going to get everyone to work, school, meetings, and band practice when the car is in the shop?

The trick is to constantly nurture and strengthen family relationships so that, individually and as a group, you can handle stress better. Make it a priority to improve relationships so there is less stress and more support in the family.

Remember, improving family relationships doesn't happen overnight, so don't give up if you try one approach and it doesn't seem to work immediately. Persistent, consistent commitment and effort will help you reach your goals. Here are a few tips on how to get started. Check out the section on communication for more tips.

Quality time. Quality time isn't time spent watching TV together; it's time spent interacting with and enjoying each other. How much quality time does your family have together each week? Do you sit down to family dinners? Do you take walks or go on outings together? Do you have conversations with each other?

Quality time strengthens relationships and bonds the family together. Creating more quality time for the family takes commitment and a little planning, especially if your family members are busy and active. Plan family sit-down dinners, not just on holidays, but every week, if possible. Block out a special time of the week for family outings, such as an outdoor picnic or a night of star gazing. Play games together. Enjoy scenic trips. If money is tight, take day-trips that cost little or no money. Let each family member take a turn choosing an activity or place to visit.

Praise. It's easy to criticize the people around you, especially when you are stressed out and feeling low. Constant criticism, however, erodes self-esteem and ultimately damages the family foundation. Praise encourages personal growth and bolsters self-confidence. Look for ways to praise other family members. Acknowledge their accomplishments. Reward a job well done.

Shared responsibility. Many families and social groups have a scapegoat, the person usually blamed for trouble, strife, and stress. When someone is at fault, no one else has to take responsibility or ownership of problems. Learn to share responsibility. Meet with each other and try to come up with mutually agreeable ways to handle conflicts. Discuss, describe, be forgiving, be honest (but tactful), and work to reduce conflicts and resolve problems within the family.

Acceptance. Often we judge or reject people because they do or say something we wouldn't do or say. For example, how would you react if a family member came home with neon-colored hair or adopted an extreme way of dressing? Because family members are unique individuals, they are going to have unique experiences and unique ways of expressing themselves. Try to accept, even embrace, each other's uniqueness.

Defusing anger. When stress builds up, some people become irritable and short-tempered with family members, which, in turn, creates even more stress. Take steps to diffuse your anger. If arguments get too heated, take a time out. Sometimes a brisk walk can help calm you down. A hot bath or a cup of herbal tea can settle your nerves.

Apologies/Forgiveness. Learn to say, "I'm sorry," and "I forgive you." If you lose control and lash out at the family, apologize. Vow to work harder to manage your anger, and then do the work. If you are on the receiving end of an "I'm sorry," offer forgiveness. Family members wound each other frequently but can learn to restore harmony.

If you are part of a family experiencing life-threatening situations such as child abuse, spousal abuse, or addictions, get help any way you can: contact legal authorities, a qualified counselor, or a treatment specialist immediately. You will not fix the situation by keeping quiet about events that are hurting the people you love. Reach for help.

Friendships

Having a safety net of friends to turn to for support can enhance your ability to cope with stress and the challenges of life. Enjoying the company of others also makes life more pleasurable. Ask for help and support when you need a lift.

Give quality time to the quality people in your life. Interact and share with one another. Schedule dates and outings. Have fun with your friends. Don't hog the conversation by talking about your problems all the time. Take the time to listen to them, too. Enjoy the companionship of your friends and don't forget to laugh and have fun. Laughter reduces stress.

If you lack friends, or desire more friends, make an effort to meet new people. Join a club that involves an activity you like to do, such as a bicycling group or a book club. Take a class in something that interests you such as calligraphy, communication, or aerobics. Make an effort to smile at people. Strike up conversations. Ask about their likes and dislikes. Share your thoughts and feelings with new people. Do something together outside the club or class.

Some friendships may seem lopsided or imbalanced. Perhaps you have a friend that only cares to talk about his or her problems and never listens to you. Maybe you know someone who is a chronic complainer or someone who always criticizes you and tears you down. Sometimes it's a good idea to reevaluate friendships that feel imbalanced and set limits on the amount of time you devote to them. You will feel better and find friendships more rewarding if you invest in people with whom you can develop mutually supportive relationships.

Community Connections

Another way to improve your social health is to develop social ties in your community. You can join an organization that is involved in activities you are interested in, such as a scouting, athletics, crafts, etc. There are also many clubs and groups that need your time and talent. Volunteering for political campaigns, environmental groups, church groups, or charitable organizations can be very rewarding. By being active in the community, you'll meet interesting people, learn new things, and help enhance the quality of life of your community.

Work Relationships

The workplace is a melting pot of different personality types, so it's unrealistic to expect everyone to always get along harmoniously. How well you get along with your coworkers, however, can impact the level of stress you feel on the job. Therefore, it's important to do what you can to have amicable relationships with as many coworkers as possible.

Treat your coworkers the same way you want to be treated. Be kind and friendly. Try not to take yourself too seriously. Lighten up with humor, if that helps. Be a team player.

Nurture your relationship with your boss, if you have one. Studies have shown that people experience a lot of work stress when they don't get along with their boss. Look for ways to enhance communication with your boss. If a task seems ambiguous, ask for clarification. Ask for feedback on your performance. Look for ways to meet and exceed your boss's expectations.

Many businesses now have activity and exercise facilities. If these facilities are available to you, take advantage of the opportunity to work out at work! You will benefit from increased fitness, increased energy, and decreased stress. As you begin to feel better and better you will probably become more outgoing and friendly, you'll feel healthier, and in general you'll be a more productive employee.

Top of Page